


Sweet Dreams, Texas

by blondefoxes



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Coming of Age, M/M, Prostitute Josh, bible thumper tyler
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-20
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-07-25 14:46:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7536898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blondefoxes/pseuds/blondefoxes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Josh just wants enough money to leave Sweet Dreams. Tyler is infatuated with the idea of saving Josh from his life. Will Josh overcome his lot in life and leave town forever? Or will Tyler get things his way and get Josh to join the church?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. He Is Aware That He Is Still a Child

     The church exudes a feeling of warmth and kindness. Everyone that drives by remarks about its high arches, its pure white walls, and the statue of Jesus with his arms held outward to all who may come to him. This church, the church at the top of the hill, is a beacon of hope and love to all who view it. Especially to young Josh, who has a great view of the church from the hotel window. “Yeah, you like that you little bitch?” the large business man questions, thrusting deep against Josh’s narrow hips. The boy raises an eyebrow, suddenly aware that someone else is in the room with him. Is it unprofessional to disconnect from your body when someone is inside you? It’s certainly a bit rude.

  
     “Hmm?” Josh hums, turning his head to catch a glimpse at the man. “Oh, uh, yeah. Give it to me harder, daddy.” The money sitting on the table in his direct line of sight is all the real motivation he needs. There are bills to be paid, after all, a world worth fighting for outside. Josh attempts to avoid eye contact at all costs, a certain ritual that’s help him get passed the more treacherous times of his chosen profession. The men come and go, of course, and he knows that it’s only a matter of moments before this encounter is over and he can go home to a bowl of mac’n’cheese.

  
     “I’m gonna cum!” the man nearly screams right into Josh’s ear. He grimaces, his large body toppling forward on top of the pink hair boy. Josh is very visibly aggravated, but he arches his back to keep his ass propped up and the man as far away from him as possible.

  
     “Ooh, that was so good, daddy. Thank you,” he muses, shifting his weight to get the man away from him. What’s his name again? Winston? Watson? Something with a W, probably. There are too many to get too friendly with nowadays.

  
     The man’s chest heaves as he rolls over, the bed shifting under his weight. He isn’t unattractive, but he’s certainly not the person Josh thought he’d be based off his pictures. These things can be doctored, of course, there’s no time limit on a photo. “You were amazing as always, Howie.” Howie, the name Josh gave people who fucked him. They’d been on the tee ball team together when they were kids, this person named Howie. He’s not Josh, though, he’s where Josh wishes he could be.

  
     “Thanks man,” Josh says, sliding off the bed toward the dresser. It’s rude to disconnect, it’s even ruder to count money in front of the client. He moves his naked body over, snags the cash off the termite ridden hotel dresser, and moves for his shorts. “How’re the kids?” The man lets out a large chuckle, one that fills the room and makes things that much more awkward. Have a little dignity, man, don’t make it so obvious that you shouldn’t be here.

  
     There’s no answer, at least, not right away. The man, in his sweat soaked work shirt, sits up from his laid position after a moment of work and a lungful of breath. His underwear slips on rather easily, but the slacks take a bit of time. “Tim’s graduating from primary school soon,” he breathes, still obviously tired. “He doesn’t wanna be called Timmy anymore, it’s Tim or Timothy or nothing.” There’s a strange honesty in the answer delivered minutes after the question. It’s not a bad feeling that sits at the bottom of Josh’s stomach, it’s a feeling that tells him to leave immediately.

  
     Josh turns until his back is facing the man. He knows how much Winston or Watson or who the fuck ever enjoys looking at his ass. “He’ll grow out of it,” he reassures the man. “I hated Howie for a long time. Now it’s just… The way people know me.” Joshua rings the same bell. A bell that says you’re not a child anymore, you’re a man. Which is why he still goes by Josh.

  
     Watson stands with some effort, body now totally covered again by Sunday best. He adjusts his tie and smooths out the three strands of hair still clinging to his head. “Thanks again,” he says, moving for Josh. He knows exactly what happens next, because it’s the same thing that always happens. They try to kiss him, they get real close. Some get brave and grab his ass to pull him closer, but he has counters for that. He has counters for everything now. Like clockwork, the man gets as close as he dare and puckers his lips, triggering an immediate response. Josh turns his face, allowing the man’s lips to land on his cheek inches from their intended target. There’s not kissing in prostitution, it’s like rule number one.

  
     The light that streams in through the window shed a dreary glow on the room and what’s just happened. Josh, still standing there, still naked as the day he was born, stares at the bed he was just fucked on. Stares at the truth of his existence without a single word. Without a person in the world to speak in his defense. He sits on the edge of the bed, a soft breath leaving him while he counts his money. One hundred, two hundred, three hundred. It’s all there and Josh gives a nod to God for not allowing him to get shorted again. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, you’re never fucking me again. He shoves his money into the pocket of his discarded shorts, the rest of his clothes laying useless on the floor next to them.

  
     Josh allows his hand to wrap around his half hard cock, because he’ll be damned if he’s used and he doesn’t get his. A lot of the guys that fuck him don’t want to see Hiscock. They like believing what they’re doing is just infidelity and not gay infidelity because that’s so, so much worse. He pumps his dick until it’s fully hard and he can get a proper grip on the thing. He doesn’t masturbate as much as he used to, as much as one would expect an eighteen year old to. There’s just no point anymore. One of the football players is generous enough to allow him to jack off while they’re fucking, and that’s where he gets his rocks off most of the time.

  
    Orgasm overtakes him much sooner than he thinks it will, and he’s grateful that he didn’t need something up his ass to get there this time. Warm cum shoots upward onto his chest, on his chin, and while he breathes out in a sort or tainted bliss, he licks the bottom of his mouth to clean the sticky liquid from his chin. The light in the room is almost too much to bear, and he wonders if there are other people in the hotel that like to fuck with the windows closed.

  
     “You’re late, Brother Winston,” Tyler whispers in a worried tone. He opens the door to allow the man inside the church, taking note of the sweat stains on the armpits of the man’s shirt. He must have run from the parking lot, what a devoted son of God.

  
     Winston chuckles, pulling his glasses from his face to clean them. “Thank you for opening the door, Brother Tyler. I fear the extra few seconds would’ve made me even later.” Tyler nods with a smile, happy to help in any way he can. Together, the men make their way into the large auditorium, the preacher already starting his message.

  
    “We all know someone,” the Pastor says, “who could use the healing touch of God. Someone at your work place. Someone at your school. Someone you don’t know, but you see more than once in a week. Everyone can use the healing touch of God, and we have to be the ones to give it to them.” Tyler Joseph sits with his back straight, the best posture of anyone else on his pew. He takes the words the pastor says to heart, listening with a devotion unrivaled by anyone else in the congregation. “I challenge you, all of you. Bring someone who would not normally be here. Bring someone you think would benefit from your helping hand. From your welcoming heart.”

  
     Their town isn’t that large, and at least two people audibly ask where they might find someone to bring. The church at the top of the hill is only rivaled by the school at the bottom, a large monument to the town’s dedication to education. It isn’t a Christian school, despite several petitions and cries from the PTA, but it’s a school envied by many others. “There is always someone! Allow God to lead you, to guide your thoughts and actions. Allow the most high to show you someone, and once he does, don’t let them go. Bring them here, and I promise, you will have made him very happy.”

  
      The service goes on for another hour and a half, Tyler Joseph hanging on every word. A few of the younger kids doze off near him, and he gently rouses them every few minutes when he thinks they should hear the message being spoken, which is every few seconds. He steals glances at Jenna Black, the pretty blonde girl that helps him run the Sunday school program for the younger kids. He’s happy to know her, and happy that they exist at the same time. They’ll be graduating together in a few months, and while they haven’t made any real plans between them, Tyler hopes they can stay together through the summer, continue teaching the children.

    
     The church lets out into a bright and clear day, the sunlight illuminating the grass and trees and painting a beautiful picture for the people at the top of the hill to see. Tyler steps out into the light, shielding his eyes from the harshness, but only for a moment. “Brother Tyler,” he hears a voice call. He turns, quickly spotting Jenna just a few feet from him.  
“Ah, Sister Jenna. Great service today,” he smiles.

  
     “Yes, I agree,” she nods. “I was wondering, would you like to go over the lesson plan for next Sunday together sometime this week?” There’s a hope in her voice that’s neither welcoming, nor distancing for Tyler. It’s a tone he’s heard in movies, in kids who want something from their parents.

  
     “Sure! That would be great,” he nods, patting his pants to look for his phone. Once he finds it, he pulls it out, typing a reminder to himself in the notes. Jenna stands awkwardly by as he does, waiting for him to say something of substance to continue their conversation. “How about Thursday, at school? I have a free period after lunch, so I can stay for your lunch and we can talk then!”  
Jenna nods happily, her blond hair shining in the sunlight. “Sounds great. See you then, Brother Tyler.” He nods his head with her, watching as she turns to walk away. A challenge from the pastor and a meeting with Jenna Black. Tyler feels his chest swell a little with pride and happiness. This week is bound to be exciting.

  
     He rides his bike down the hill toward his home, the basketball hoop a clear and concise landmark for him to slow down and make an approach. From the corner of his eye, he spots something in the distance, moving toward him. It’s hair is pink, and it’s legs covered in black tights and a pair of basketball shorts, and it only takes a moment of moving closer to realize that this is a person. Not just a person, a person that Tyler knows.

  
     “Hey!” he shouts, standing on the pedals of his bike to get taller. Josh raises his head from his phone to look down the street, Tyler’s image one of a man standing on a bike, still as water. “Don’t I know you?”  
Josh stops, his heart beating a little harder. Shit, did one of the football players tell on him? Is this some shitty undercover bike cop. He could take him, scrawny teenager looking mother fucker. “Hey!” Josh shouts back. “Fuck off!”

  
     He turns the corner down a different street, one he knows will keep him far enough away from this person to avoid any sort of contact. Tyler narrows his eyes, a little aggravated, but not totally convinced he knew he it was. “Come inside now, Tyler!” His father calls, standing at their front door. With his attention drawn, he loses sight of Josh, and decides finally not to go after him. They’d run into each other again, he’s sure of it. No one forgets pink hair like that, so vibrant and bright.  
Someone like that could probably use God in their lives, and while pushing his bike toward the house, Tyler has a realization like a frying pan to the head. This person could use God, and Tyler is just the person to deliver him.


	2. I Don't Want To See You Like This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler invites Josh to Church on Sunday, then catches him in a compromising position.

                The Monday after church is always such a surreal experience for Josh. Kids walk passed him like there’s nothing wrong, like his whole life has been just like theirs. He’s thankful for it, and angered by it at once. His pink hair is the only sign that he’s moving through the hall. If he painted his hair back to its natural color, he’s sure that no one would notice him at all.

                Tyler, however, loves the mornings after church. He hops out of his bed and into the crisp air of February, still a little cold, but warm enough to sleep in his boxers. He stretches wide, getting all his muscles warm before moving for the shower. He’s careful not to spend too much time in there, lest he miss his ride to school. His father waits for him as long as he can, but they do miss each other sometimes. “I’m riding my bike today!” Tyler yells down to his dad, deciding that a reliance on his father to drive him on this particular day is a bad idea.

                “Are you sure?” his father replies, downstairs with a bowl of cereal.

                Tyler, still buttoning up his shirt, calls back, “yes, sir!” Today’s the day he’s going to meet Josh officially, to ask him if he’d like to meet the lord and savior Jesus Christ. The thought itself makes Tyler giddy, so much so that he can’t quite button the top button of his shirt. A casual look is probably better, he decides, but he tucks his shirt into his jeans just to be safe. He does have a reputation to sustain, after all.

                The wind blows in his face as he moves quickly down the hill toward the school, bag slung snugly across his back. People wave, one or two, who recognize Tyler from church, and he waves back with a smile. He greets everyone he comes across, whether he knows them or not. “Hello, there!” he says to one, “how’s it going?” to a group of kids. They smile and they wave, some even respond, despite the speed at which he moves toward his destination.

                Jenna is always the first to reach him when he arrives, ready by the door so that they can walk in together. Tyler never paid it much attention, just something that happened from day to day, part of the routine. “Good morning, Tyler,” she smiles, offering a small but warm gesture.

                “Good morning, Jenna,” he smiles back, copying her gesture in understanding. They hug, from time to time, but almost never outside the church. Not that Tyler doesn’t want to, he does, it just never seems like the right time. It never feels right for him.

                “How are you feeling this morning?” Jenna asks, showing visible interest in her counterpart. Tyler is unable to reciprocate, however, as he spots the tuft of pink hair he’s been looking for.

                He makes a face at her, albeit unintentionally, and offers a quick and silent apology. “Be, uh… I’ll be right back!” he exclaims, moving through the mess of students toward the boy. Jenna, obviously hurt and a little confused, holds her hand up to stop him, but it’s too late. He’s halfway across the courtyard by the time she can get a word out.

                “He wasn’t like, ugly or anything, y’know? Just not conventionally attractive,” Josh says to his best friend. Hayley nods in understanding, pretending to get why he does what he does but staying supportive regardless. "I think he went to church like, right after that, which is totally weird, but whatever. Maybe his wife just isn’t sucking his di-“  


                “Hi there!” Tyler greets, arriving midsentence. Josh holds his breath, looking at Hayley like this new person is crazy, eyes wide and eyebrows pulled together as tightly as he can get them. “Josh, right? I saw you the other day, I was riding my bike and-“

                “You’re the guy I told to fuck off,” Josh realizes, out loud. Part of him is relieved that it wasn’t actually a cop on a shitty ten speed, but he’s equally annoyed by the arrival of someone uninvited.

                Hayley, being the smart and cunning person she is, steps in. “You’re Tyler Joseph, yeah? We have third period English together,” she muses, tilting her head to stare at him. It’s a challenge, a bait, but it’s one that Tyler doesn’t recognize. One that the naïve will fall right into, and just like a fish to a worm, he does just that.

                “Oh, right! Hayley, isn’t it? Sorry, I got so caught up in looking for my friend here that I guess I had some blinders on, huh?” Tyler laughs at himself. Hayley shoots a look at Josh, laughing along if only to mock him. Josh knows who he is, now. Tyler Joseph, basketball player, singer of the national anthem at pretty much every gathering that isn’t centered around Jesus, because then he’d be singing hymns.

                “Yeah, what’s up, my guy?” Hayley asks, returning to the conversation.

                Tyler pats Josh on the shoulder, like their friends. Like they’ve known each other for a while and that’s just not going to fly. “I was just going to invite you to church with me next Sunday!” Hayley audibly scoffs, choking a little on her air in an attempt not to laugh. “Oh, are you alright?” he asks, hand leaving Josh’s shoulder and finally offering some relief.

                “She’s fine,” he cuts in, moving away from Tyler and closer to Hayley. “I actually have plans with my dear, dying friend here, so that’s going to be a hard no. Trust and believe that I considered it very deeply. You have my deepest apologies.” Moving swiftly, Josh takes Hayley by the arm and together, they make an escape. It isn’t pretty, or graceful, but it gets the job done as Tyler stays dumbfounded in the same spot they left him in.

                Once Hayley catches her breath and Josh has decided that they’re a significant space away deep inside one of the school’s many halls, she dries her eyes and presses her lips together. “We don’t have plans for Sunday, Joshy, you should totally go with him.”

                Josh looks at her like the wrath of god has possessed him. “Yeah, totally, can’t wait to introduce myself again to half the people that have boned me in the auditorium. Hell, they might even let me give the service!”

                Hayley starts another laughing fit, the soft chuckle of her voice echoing through the halls. Teacher’s still getting ready for classes peak their heads out to see what the commotion is about. “Sorry! Just checking on our stuff for class!” Josh yells to them, moving the lock on one of the aluminum lockers to appear as though it’s his. The teachers disappear back into their classrooms one at a time, effectively out of sight and out of mind.

                “C’mon, that’d be hilarious,” Hayley comments, finally done with her bout of giggles. “Just think about it. You, in the middle of everyone, looking at all the people you probably banged. There’s nothing that’d be more hilarious. The very universe itself is trying to send you a message.”

                “The universe can get fucked,” Josh rolls his eyes. The discontentment is very real, very palpable, and very serious.

                First period begins and ends, then second, then third. The pink haired boy sees Tyler more than once, waving, trying to get his attention, and he’s promptly ignored at every turn. Even at lunch, when Hayley drags Josh to the other side of campus to get the good muffins from the bakery down the street from the school. Tyler follows them to the gate, talking about how much he’d enjoy seeing Josh at church, always just a few steps behind, just a few inches away.

                The proximity is always just too much. Josh puts himself at the end of the line between the three of them, using Hayley as a buffer until they make it to the sidewalk. Tyler says something about needing to get back to the cafeteria to have lunch with someone or another, but Josh is never really interested enough in what’s being said to comment. He can hear Hayley talking like she’s interested, but it’s a lie. It’s all a lie.

                “Why do you patronize him like that?” Josh asks, generally interested.

                “You don’t think he’s cute?” Hayley asks back.

                “In appearance or in attitude?” The baker hands Hayley a large muffin, about the size of Josh’s fist, way more than the small girl can probably eat in one sitting. At least, that’s what the baker thinks.

                “Both, I guess,” she takes a bite, a chocolate chip falling down onto her shirt. “He’s pretty cute for a bible thumper, and he’s just so innocent. Really, I can’t get enough of him.”

                Josh rolls his eyes, because it’s a lie, it’s all a lie. Nothing really matters to Hayley, nothing has and nothing will. Not even Leaving Sweet Dreams. “So you’re coming with me when I go, right?”

                “Go where, Joshua?” Another bite.

                “I don’t know, Austin? San Antonio? I don’t even have to stay in Texas, California is not that far away, or like, Colorado.”

                “Colorado?” Another bite.

                “Just a thought.” The clouds roll by on the way back to school. They seem darker than usual, more full of rain than ever before, but it never seems to rain. Not even a drizzle.

                The end of the school day comes faster than Josh expects, and harder than he knows. By the end of eighth period, his body aches with the effort of yesterday, the strain on his back more powerful than originally expected. He stretches upon standing from his desk, trying to iron out the kinks still present in his muscles.

                He joined a club a long time ago to cover up what he really does after school at night. Like a shooting star, they see him every once in a while, but never for as long as they think

                His efforts are better spent in the science lab, where’s there’s plenty of room and no one around. A pile of cash sits on the farthest table from him, a few twenties, a hundred, and a stack of ones. Lower than his normal rate, but no business is bad business. With the football season over, the team has to find a way to release tension.

                “Fuck, man, you’re so tight,” the quarterback says. Or is it the linebacker? Josh isn’t sure anymore. They’ve all been inside him at least twice, and their voices are so similar it’s hard to tell them apart. Josh hums back his agreeance, pushing back as hard as he can to catch the man’s thrusts. Only two or three of them team remain, the rest gone home after dumping their loads.

                This isn’t new. Nothing about this is brand new to Josh. In the summer, it’s the soccer boys. In the winter, it’s the baseball players. The footballers have yet to have their turn, so it’s only natural that Josh give them the opportunity.

                It doesn’t matter, Josh thinks to himself, ass leaking cum as the cock fucking him makes it’s thrusts. It doesn’t matter. “Oh, fuck,” the man grunts, his thrusts become weaker and weaker as the threat of climax comes over him. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. “I’m gonna cum!” It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. “I’m cumming!”

                “Josh?!” This voice is familiar, one that Josh recognizes. He turns his head, pulling himself out of his haze to find the source. Standing at the door of the lab is none other than Tyler Joseph, the man who’d been following him around.

                “Holy shit!”

                “What the fuck?!”

                 “Get him out of here!”

                The collective freak out from the team spurns Josh into action, wanting to silence them more than he wants to find a way out of the situation. “Alright, everyone, calm the fuck down. I got this.” He grabs the underwear he’d abandoned an hour before and slips them on as quickly as he can, moving for the door simultaneously. He pushes Tyler far enough away to get the door closed and keep whatever pride the football players have intact. “What the fuck are you doing here, dude?”

                “Our normal room for bible studies on Mondays and Wednesdays is being c-cleaned, or remodeled, or something, I don’t know. What are you doing?” Tyler’s voice is rushed and hesitant, and yeah, maybe a little cute.

                “Listen, you can’t say anything about what you say in there, alright?” Josh asks, the feeling of warm cum moving down his thighs. Is it unprofessional to disassociate yourself with cum leaking down your legs? Maybe, but it’s certainly rude. “Promise you’re not going to say anything about it, alright?”

                “What were you doing in there?” he asks again. This time, there’s a little more force in his voice, a little bit calmer. “Was that guy…”

                “Fucking me? Yes, alright, he was having sex with me.” Tyler blushes, his face becoming incredibly red. “We were having sex, in that room. There was sex, between us, between us men, dudes, whatever. Listen, my guy, just don’t say anything.”

                “C-come to bible study with me,” Tyler says. Like a light has moved through his body and flickered into his brain. Josh stands dumbfounded, unaware that Tyler even knew the word blackmail, let alone how to do it.

                Josh bites his lip, staring at the other’s pink face. “Are you… Are you shitting me, right now?”

                “I won’t say anything if you come with me.” Tyler repeats, eyes full of hope.

                Josh can hear the men in the room gathering their things to leave. If any of the money is missing, he’ll tell everyone himself.  “Alright, fine, fuck! I’ll come with you. Wednesday, yeah? Jesus, alright, I’ll come with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I started Sweet Dreams, I really wanted to write something kinda surreal. I never want to give you guys enough information to really have a grasp of everything. I hope you're enjoying, don't be afraid to leave me some comments. See you on Monday~


	3. Snatching Victory from the Jaws of Defeat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hayley and Tyler have a chat. The reality of humanity is lifted from Josh's shoulders.

                It’s the same dream, almost every night. It starts out the same way, the same person, and the same place. Arms wrapped around each other, bodies pressed but never touching. Lips close, but never kissing. He can feel it when he wakes, the heat of someone else. It’s always the same. Nothing matters.

                “He did what?” Hayley asks through a sip of coffee. She stares straight at Josh bewildered, more surprised that Tyler knows what blackmail is than that he actually knows how to do it.

                Josh nods his head, taking the cup from her when she sets it on the table. “If I got to bible study with him tomorrow, he’ll keep his mouth shut about what he saw.” He takes a sip, grimacing at the strong taste. Straight black coffee is much too much for him. Ten dicks? No problem.

                “So, you’re going, right?” She asks, watching him like a hawk. No matter what Josh has to say, Hayley has always been like a sister to him. They kissed once, in tenth grade. It was a dare and they had known each other for years prior. He still thinks about it sometimes, wondering if after all is said and done, that maybe they could settle down together. Orange haired mistress and her pink haired gay lover.

                Josh nods his head. “Of course I’m going. I can’t give up the revenue the football player’s supply. Alice just got her tooth removed, someone’s gotta pay for it.” Both his parents work, but supporting three kids on a minimum wage job is hardly optimal. Josh does what he can so they don’t have to worry. He also doesn’t tell them he has a nest egg of cash saved for graduation.

                “Well, good luck,” she says, taking another sip. “I’ll certainly pray for you.”

                He shoves her a little, smiling. “You’re super not funny.”

                Tuesdays aren’t as busy as they should be for Josh. Usually the chess team can scrap together a few bucks to get his attention, but here lately, all they care about is competition or something nerdy like that. The band kids used to hit him up every day, a different section on the schedule throughout the week, but they’re all practicing drills for marching. He can see them after school, in the parking lot outside the performing arts center, sweating their asses off. He’s glad, partially. Nothing worse than sucking sweaty, salty, senior cock.

                It’s probably for the better. Every step makes Josh’s hole ache. It clamors for attention after the football team the night before. It’s simultaneously the sign of a job well done, and an overextension of will. Sometimes your eyes are bigger than your mouth, and in Josh’s case, his wallet is capable of carrying more than his ass.

                Tyler, on the other hand, has his hands full pretty constantly. Between organizing youth events, helping the senior members of the church, and completing his homework in time to practice basketball for a few hours, there’s hardly enough time left in the day. The moment the final bell rings, he’s got his backpack strapped as close as he can get it to his back, making a bee line for the bike racks outside to get home.

                “Tyler!” a familiar voice calls, “Tyler!” He stops, not wanting to be rude. Of course, the person calling him is the only person who has more than two words to say to him on a daily basis. He’s always got time for Jenna, however. “I had a hard time catching up to you!” she laughs, not a sign of exasperation on her. “You sure are in a hurry.”

                “Tons to do at the church, and loads of homework,” he admits, rubbing the back of his head. “Is there something I can do for you?”

                She shakes her head, blonde hair shaking side to side. She’s beautiful, in a classic sort of sense. There’s not a flaw on her, and Tyler knows he should be more concerned about her, but he isn’t. There’s nothing inside him spurning toward her. A few of the people at church hint and joke to him about them starting a relationship, but they’re things that go over his head, constantly. “Oh, nothing,” she smiles, “just wanted to make sure we’re still on for Thursday, after lunch?”

                He’d almost forgotten about their meeting. “Oh, of course! I’ll write it down right now, just to make sure I don’t forget.” He doesn’t make a move for his bag, a choice that makes Jenna furrow her brow in worry.

                “Are you feeling alright, Brother Tyler. You seem like you have a lot on your mind lately.

                She’s not wrong. What he saw last night, it replays in his head over and over again. Josh’s face when he hadn’t realized what was happening, the look of absolute and total submission. It gives Tyler chills just thinking about it. “Well,” he starts, eyes staring straight down at the floor. It replays again, making his hair stand on end.

                “If there’s something wrong,” Jenna says, reaching out to put her hand on Tyler’s arm. “You can talk to me about it. We’re friends after all, and children of the lord. There’s nothing you could say that would make me love you any less.”

                He considers it, if only for a moment. He did promise Josh he wouldn’t say anything, but the situation is unprecedented. Could he really keep his mouth shut about something weighing so heavily on his mind? Kids pass by one by way, the crowd thinned out enough that the duo stand alone in the mostly empty courtyard. “Actually, there is something….” No one said Tyler couldn’t say something not about Josh.

                “Hey, buddy,” Hayler interrupts, swinging her arm around Tyler’s shoulder. He jumps, clearly startled, sending Jenna into a jump of her own. “How’s it going?” When he finally realizes who it is and calms himself, he smiles, happy to see her again.

                “Oh, I’m well, Hayley! How are you?” He asks, head turned to her more fully. Jenna clears her throat, not ready to give up on Tyler’s juxtaposition just yet. “Jenna, sorry! This is Hayley, my friend from class. Hayley, this is Jenna, my friend from church.”

                Hayler smiles, offering her hand. Jenna takes it happily, shaking with a small nod of her head. A classy woman, through and through. “It’s nice to meet you, Hayley. How are you today?”

                “I’m well, thank you bother for asking!” she says, he voice light and full of emotion. She swings using Tyler as a lever, moving from one shoulder to the other. “Actually, there is something I wanted to talk to Tyler about, if you have a minute? I don’t want to disturb anything you two were on about.” Tyler makes a face at Jenna that’s supposed to mean sorry. She understands, no matter how disappointed.

                “We were just finishing, actually,” Jenna confirms. She nods at Tyler before taking another look at Hayley. “It was nice to meet you, Hayley. Tyler, we’ll talk later?”

                He nods, “yes, definitely! See you Thursday.”

                As Jenna disappears behind the wall of the building, Hayley takes her place. Orange hair a rather big distraction, it takes a second to realize that she’s already talking. “I’m sorry, what was that? I was looking at your hair, it’s such a vibrant color!”

                She smiles, shaking her head. “Oh, don’t try to smooth talk me, Mr. Joseph. I’m not as weak to your charms as Joshua.”        

                Tyler’s eyes grow wide, a mix of worry and doubt spreading from his chest to his throat. “Wh-what do you mean?”

                “I think you know exactly what I mean.” Hayley’s cool confidence is enough to freeze Tyler solid, and it’s clear that looking for an answer just isn’t going to go the way he thinks it will. She’s two steps ahead of him because she starting playing the game long before arriving. “I think it’s great, what you’re doing for Josh. I know your heart is in the right place.” Could this be real life? Is Hayley Williams thanking him for going against her best friend’s wishes? “Josh is in a weird place right now. We’re only a few months from graduating, you know? He’s got big plans, and I don’t think he knows just how much it’s going to take out of him to make them happen.”

                “I saw him, the other night,” he blurts out. He didn’t mean to do it, obviously, but it comes out nonetheless. He covers his mouth the moment the words fall out, a failed attempt to stop the message from being received.

                Hayley presses a slender finger against her lips, the international symbol for stay quiet. “That’s the other thing I was going to talk to you about. You broke your promise, by the way, you’re lucky I already knew.” She winks and Tyler is suddenly more relieved than ever. “Josh is like a shooting star, alright? He’s light, and he’s magic, and you can probably make a wish on his ass if you think about it hard enough, but he’s also temporary, you understand?” He doesn’t, but he nods like he does, not wanting to interrupt. “What I’m trying to say is, don’t be offended if he goes with you tomorrow, and then disappears from your life. I’ve seen him go to great lengths to avoid angry customers or otherwise.”

                “Customers?” Tyler asks, like he doesn’t already know the answer.

                “Oh, please. You know what he was doing in that classroom last night, you know why the money was there.”               

                “Is Josh… Y’know?” Another amazing question from the Nobel Peace Prize winner.

                “What? Gay? Hard to say,” Hayley admits, taking a look over her nails. “He is, and he isn’t, really just depends on the day.”

                Tyler makes a face. Confusion, mostly.

                “Right, uh… Sometimes all he can talk about is dick, like dudes are his favorite thing in the world. Sometimes, just the thought of sex repulses him, of any gender or sexuality. If I had to put a label on it, though? Probs gay.”

                It’s such a strange notion to Tyler, not knowing one way or another what you want. He’s known his whole life, get a wife, have kids, make a living and then die. Those are the steps he’s been given, and those are the steps he’ll follow. The confusion still clear on his face, Hayley lets out a breath, a sigh to show just how uninterested she is in the topic. “If you’re having trouble wrapping your head around the idea, why don’t you talk to him?” A plan of action Tyler had yet to think of.

                “T-talk to him?” He asks. This is probably not what Hayley wanted to hear.

                “Yes, God-Wad, talk to him. Tell him what’s on your mind, I guarantee he’ll respond better to that than being blackmailed.” Blackmailed? Is that what they think is happening. Tyler bites his lip, a little hurt that they’d think so lowly of him. He hasn’t really given them a reason not to, however, and looking back on the events of the night before, it becomes abundantly clear why.

                “What would I even… Say?” Tyler asks. Hayley rolls her eyes. This is not how she intended this conversation to go, but she’ll be damned if they walk away before she’s made her peace with the situation.

                Eyes narrowed, Hayley reaches out to press a finger to Tyler’s chest. “Whatever’s in your heart, buddy,” she says simply. He contemplates this for a second, a minute, longer than intended. “Listen, don’t think about it too hard. Whatever comes to your mind first, that’s usually a safe bet.”

                “Thank you,” Tyler says, nodding his head toward her. She presses two fingers to her forehead and salutes, a brief smirk pressing at red lips.

                “Take care of yourself, Tyler Joseph.” She says, turning without so much as a second glance. It doesn’t register to Tyler that the conversation is over until Hayley has already left. In all honesty, he could’ve talked with her forever. Maybe not about Josh, but once he’s thawed from her collective chill, about the things that matter most. She seems like the type that would be good at that.

                The bike ride home is longer than normal. Tyler doesn’t put as much effort into peddling as he should, making him later than normal. His father, he finds, has already called the church to let them know he’d be late. If anyone is that sort of responsible, it’s Mr. Joseph. “Is something the matter, son?” He asks, looking with concern at his son. Denying a ride to school, arriving late home the night before. They’re all signs that something might be up.

                “Just a lot on my mind, dad,” Tyler says. It’s honest, and it’s real, and that’s all he can offer. “Nothing I can’t handle. I won’t be late again, don’t worry.”

                “You know I don’t care about any of that,” his father says, “as long as you’re taking care of yourself. The church will understand if you need to take a break every now and then.”

                Tyler smiles, his teeth white and glimmering in the artificial light of the kitchen. His father always knows just what to say. “Have you been to visit your mother?”

                Just like that, it all comes down. The truth about his reality, the grotesque nature of living at home. Tyler shakes his head, he just can’t bring himself to visit her anymore. The smell of her room, the long empty hallways that look the same, it’s too much to handle, especially right now. “We’ll go together, this Sunday. I know it’s… It’s hard for you to go alone.” And it is. Tyler won’t ever say it, especially to his father, but it’s hard to go alone. It’s hard to pretend that everything is alright. He can’t just leave his mother there, however. It wouldn’t be fair. It’s not what God wants.

                “I’ll go visit her, don’t worry,” Tyler reassures his father. The older man nods, his clean shaven face incapable of hiding the deep lines of worry from years of looking after children. “I’m going to the church now, I’ll be home before eight!” With that, he’s out the door once more bounding for his bike as quickly as he can get it upright and peddling.

                Josh lays in his room across town, staring straight up at the ceiling fan. It moves with the pace of a snail and does little to cool the room, but air conditioning is expensive and luxurious. “A little help!” Josh’s mother calls. He moves quickly, knowing his siblings will be slow to respond. It’s his duty to help, after all, he is the oldest. “How was your day, sweetie?” Mrs. Dun asks, handing the boy a bag of groceries. It’s more than usual, something must be wrong.

                “Uneventful. How was work?” He asks, hiding his narrowed eyes by taking the bags to the counter away from his mother.

                She’s silent for longer than he anticipates. She’s been fired, he can feel it. When he turns around, ready to hear the bad news, she stands with a handful of cash, eyes wide and excited. “I got the promotion!”    

                Josh feels a wave of nausea move throw him and suddenly he needs to throw up. The other kids arrive just in time to see what’s happening. “I got the promotion! I got the promotion!” she yells. The kids are screaming, the mother is screaming, and Josh can’t feel anything below his waist anymore. “Full benefits, monthly bonuses, and we get to shop at any of the chains grocery stores with a discount! Not bad for someone who started as a call center clerk, huh?”

                Suddenly, the weight of the world has been lifted from Josh’s shoulders. A relief on having to pay for things for his family? That’ll boost his savings by hundreds a week. The opportunity to leave Sweet Dreams is suddenly a reality, a dream coming to light in the most beautiful and angelic way possible. Josh can’t help but tear up, and he reaches out to take his mother in his arms with vigor. She takes him to her, as well, their chests pressed together, their hearts beating together. That night, when Josh’s father arrives, he hears the news and responds with joy, the same as the others. For once, it looks like things will be better for them; that the hard streak of luck they’d been having is finally turning upward.

                That night, he has the same dream. Hands reaching for him, lips close but never touching. Skin on fire, he wakes in a cold sweat when he realizes the man’s face belongs to Tyler Joseph.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing really happens in this chapter, but I'll be updating three times this week instead of just twice, so you'll be getting another chapter on Wednesday. Thanks to all the people leaving comments and kudos, I hope you continue to enjoy the work <3


	4. Joy Despite the Uncertainty of Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh spends the night with a client who may be more. He and Tyler have a heart to heart after bible study.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut ahead, read at your own risk.

                Josh wakes from his sleep in a bed that’s not his own. It takes a moment for him to remember that he spent the night at a friend’s house. Well, not a friend, a client. One of his first, actually. Someone who can always be counted on for a quick fuck and a place to stay. After his mother announced her new position and the family hugged and cried and danced together until bedtime, Josh stayed up. Staring at his ceiling like he always does, tears in his eyes. Except this time, this time the tears were of joy. Of happiness. Now, leaving Sweet Dreams is a reality. It’s the truth, the never ending sunlight in a void of stars too far away to feel the warmth.

                “Hey, you’re up,” Josh hears, opening his eyes fully to look toward the door. Coming at him with two cups of tea in hand, a long slender man in nothing but a pair of boxers. “I was worried you were going to be late for school.” Josh makes a sound like disagreement, but sits up and takes the cup anyway. Brendon believes in all natural brewing, no caffeine required to wake him up. “You’ve got a while to make it, I’m not kicking you out.

                Brendon Urie has paid for sex since Josh started selling it. The man is not unattractive. He has a sharp face, perfect jawline, and a haircut that says punk rock if the pink haired boy has ever seen one. It’s a surprise to see him without someone on his arm. It’s even more of a surprise to see how willing he is to pay to get his dick sucked.

                “Thanks for this,” Josh nods, pulling the covers upward, toward his stomach. He lost his clothes somewhere in the common room. He’ll retrieve them, eventually.

                Brendon shakes his head, “it’s not a problem, really. Last night was…. It was amazing, as usual.” He reaches for his wallet, “how much do I owe you?”

                This is the part that Josh hates. He reaches out, touching Brendon’s arm, even going so far as to squeeze the muscle there. “You don’t have to pay me. You let me spend the night, that’s really all that I can ask for.”

                There’s a stalemate, always. Brendon is one of the few people that Josh actually likes having sex with. He’s one of the few people that he kisses when it happens, but to Brendon. It’s still a service. An agreed upon set of limits and actions that yield compensation. Josh gives the other a look that’s supposed to say, don’t worry about it. Eyebrows knitted together, the corners of his lips pointed downwards, it looks more like sadness than enlightenment. “No, I… I have to pay you.”

                “Brendon,” Josh whispers, placing the tea on the windowsill. He moves for Brendon, the sheets falling off and exposing his naked body to the still rising sun through the window. Josh has never been very graceful, but in this moment, he moves with purpose, and that’s all the grace really is. Pressing one hand to either side of Brendon’s face, Josh pulls their lips together in a kiss, soft and gentle. He knows exactly how the college man likes it, how he needs to be treated. Careful, gentle, with just enough force to show that he wants it. “You don’t owe me anything.”

                The moment the kiss is broken, Brendon moves forward, eyes still closed, lips still puckered, a clear sign that it ends before he’s prepared. He makes an attempt to compose himself, but his boxers begin tenting before he really has any control over it. Josh notices immediately, a trained eye for these sorts of things. He smirks, moving his hand toward Brendon’s waist band. “I have a while before I have to go, y’know…” Josh says, leaning in to press another gentle kiss to the taller male’s neck. Brendon shoots up like a bullet out of a gun, the tent in his boxers now more evident than ever. It stands straight at attention, pulling his boxers tight around the rest of groin. “N-no, I need to pay you, really. I couldn’t go another round anyway, I have… I have class in a little bit and…”

                He stops talking the moment Josh moves off the bed and stands in front of him. Toned body now shining in the morning sun, Josh takes the cup from Brendon’s hands, his own member growing longer with every passing second. Brendon starts to say something else, but Josh is on his knees before a sound can escape his lips. He tugs the boxers down until the monster is unleashed, springing to life and spitting pre-cum directly into Josh’s face.

                If he’s totally honest, this is the reason that he started enjoying Brendon to begin with. It’d be too easy to say that he saw the kindness in the man, the hopefulness in his eyes. No, Josh knows the real reason he offered sex to Brendon the first time, and that’s because skinny jeans do little to hide a ten inch cock.

                Josh sticks his tongue out, lapping up the pre-cum already gathered at the slit, making Brendon shake at the knees. He can’t take the whole thing into either entrance, but he’ll be damned if that means he’s not going to try. Brendon’s manhood is tapered, a head about the size of a golf ball and bigger at the shaft. It slips in easy to begin with, but the girth is almost unbearable pressing into his tonsils.

                Josh pushes himself until he’s about halfway down, and it feels like the head is ready to enter his stomach. He wants to cough, but he knows any sudden movement might result in some serious neck pain. He bobs his head as well as he can, pink hair swinging back and forth, still a mess from sleeping. Brendon’s moans can be heard throughout the room, audible gasps and hisses from Josh’s efforts. He loses himself every once in a while, and those are the times Josh enjoys him most. The entire things is a monument, really, but Brendon losing control and really giving it to him, that’s the golden ticket.

                About halfway through the blowjob, Josh knows he’s getting to meet Willy Wonka. Brandon grabs at his head, pulling in into his groin and thrusting his hips forward to get more of his cock down Josh’s throat. It hurts, that’s undeniable, but the spit and slobber and pre-cum mixing and moving down his chin is a clear sign that he’s enjoying himself. Before long, Brendon’s cock is nearly completely down Josh’s throat, the muscles stretching further and further every time he thrusts. Josh feels like he’s choking and tears run down his face but god he loves it. He loves it so much. The only thing that would make this better is,

                “Can I fuck you?” Brendon asks, looking down at Josh with hopeful eyes. Josh releases Brendon’s cock from his throat, lines of saliva and pre-cum connecting his tongue to the massive member. He smiles, and nods, prompting Brendon to pick him up from the armpits, moving them toward the dresser. Josh knows the drill. They’ve fucked enough times for him to get into position when he’s good and ready.

                He’d been fucked last night, so his hole still feels ready, but Brendon drops to his knees out of courtesy. He presses his face right between Josh’s cheeks, tongue lapping at the ring of muscle he finds there. Josh won’t let anyone else eat his ass, too many bad experiences, but Brendon? Brendon could tongue fuck him on his death bed.

                “Fuck,” Josh breathes out, resting his head on the hard wood of the dresser. Brendon does his job and he does it well, not stopping until his tongue has met Josh’s prostate. It’s a hard job, but it drives Josh up the wall, and his cock is hard before all is said and done. Brendon grabs a condom off the dresser next to Josh’s face, planting kisses on the high schooler’s back while slipping the golden rubber out of its container and onto his monster.

                Brendon guides the head in, and that’s really all it takes. Josh groans as the pressure becomes more and more evident inside him. Ten inches is quite the feat, and Brendon only stops pushing when he physically can no longer. With only two inches left of Brendon’s cock left to take, Josh counts it a victory.

                The thrust start slow, careful, making sure that Josh is properly stretched and cared for before the real fun begins. Brendon is meticulous, feeling every nook and cranny in Josh’s ass, stretching the insides as well as the ring of muscle guarding them. “You’re gonna split me open,” Josh groans, “You’re rearranging my fucking insides.”

                “Do you want me to stop?” Brendon asks, concern clear in his voice. Josh doesn’t have the will to argue. He simply presses back into Brendon’s member, working his hips to get it back inside him as soon as possible. The taller male takes the hint, and thrusts to meet Josh’s angry thrusts. The wet smack of lube and spit is audible, Brendon coming closer and closer to bottoming out every time he pushes his hips forward.

                A familiar feeling pulls at Josh’s stomach. It’s clear but alien all at once, the feeling of orgasm without arousal. Josh has yet to touch his own cock yet, all eight inches standing at attention, however. “Holy shit,” he whispers, eyes wide and legs spread when he realizes what’s happening.

                “Are you alright?” Brendon asks again, this time less concerned.

                “You’re gonna make me fucking….” He can’t finish the sentence. The press of orgasm moves through his abs, his groin, his legs. Every muscle in his body tenses, and before he can stop himself, his cock is shooting streams of cum on Brendon’s dresser. Brendon pulls his cock out, yanking the condom off and joining the pink haired man’s orgasm bliss as he jacks off until he’s spraying his own load onto Josh’s pert, tight ass.

                Brendon wraps his arms around Josh, pressing his chest into the smaller man’s back. “That was… Amazing.” He laughs, breathing bated and heavy.

                As always, Josh thinks, resting his head on the dresser. This is who he should be dreaming about.

                Tyler waits at the front of the school until he sees the mass of pink hair. As always, Josh dons his tights under basketball shorts. This time, however, he’s borrowed one of Brendon’s tank tops, a normal t-shirt with the sleeves cut off. “Ah, Josh!” Tyler yells, waving. “I was worried you weren’t going to show up today!”

                Josh shrugs, “I’m a man of my word.” It’s not a total lie, really.

                “Great!” Tyler beams, “I’ll see you after school, then!”

                “What was that about?” Hayley asks, appearing just as Tyler departs into the school’s front doors.

                “Today is my sentence to the God Squad,” Josh groans, turning to his friend. “You wanna come with?”

                She shakes her head, “nah, got some papers to work on, some shit for college. You’ve filled out your applications though, right?” Josh nods. A halfway, kinda there, kinda not nod. “You really should get on it. Getting it over with is only half the battle.” He’s not sure if she’s talking about the college application or the sentence to cruel and unusual punishment he’s signed himself up for with the God Squad. The bell rings before she can say anything else, but she tips her coffee to him and moves toward the front doors without another word. They move in silence to their first class, the weight of reality finally loose upon them.

                The weight only gets heavier as the day goes on. At lunch, they talk about ways Josh can make himself sick between periods to get out of staying, but eighth period comes as it always does, and unfortunately for Josh, he’s healthy as a horse. He waves goodbye to Hayley at the courtyard, a look of defeat on his face as she rides off into the clear light of day. “You stayed!” Josh hears Tyler call. He sighs, but turns around with a smile despite his better judgement.

                “I told you I would,” Josh murmurs, lips pursed after he realizes that a smile might send the wrong message. “C’mon, let’s get in there and…. God it up! I don’t know what I’m saying.” Tyler’s hand comes to his mouth to hide as he laughs. A real, genuine laugh.

                “Don’t worry, you’re going to fit right in!”

                That’s a huge, huge overstatement. Josh finds himself wide eyed and confused by a lot of the talk and rhetoric being thrown around at bible study. People talk about plagues and mice and a thousand years of pain, then talk about forgiveness and love in the very next sentence. He doesn’t realize how much his throat hurts until his head starts to share the pain. He remembers Brendon’s massive member in his throat, the feeling of it stretching him in every possible entrance, and without thinking, his cock starts to harden.

                The tights to a good job of keeping it pressed against his leg, but it’s not small by any means. Standing now would be a turn for the worst. “Great discussion, everyone,” Tyler smiles, standing. Everyone else stands with him, a move Josh curses himself for. He stays seated, but no one seems to notice. “We’ll see you all again next Monday. Josh, would you like to say a prayer to dismiss us?”

                Josh cranes his head so fast it’s a surprise it doesn’t snap right off. He makes a face, waving his hand in front of his throat to signal Tyler to shut the fuck up. Tyler giggles a little, as does Jenna and about everyone else in the room. “That’s alright. Everyone, join hands.” Tyler takes Josh’s hand and Josh takes Jenna’s and he wonders how long cum survives on skin. He knows how many people he’s jacked off with these hands, the hands holding the God Squad. God if forgiving, right?

                “Amen,” Tyler says, and like that, people begin leaving. A few stay behind to say their peace about discussions had during the hour, but Josh stays to keep his boner at bay. “So, what’d you think?” Tyler asks, sitting back down in the seat next to Josh.

                “Well, to be totally honest, I’m glad it’s over.” Josh purses his lips together again, shrugging his shoulders to say sorry. “And I’m glad you’ll hold up your end of the deal, right?” he asks in a whisper. The last few people disperse into the hallway, leaving the two alone in the room.

                Tyler adjusts his tie, turning away from Josh without making eye contact. “You didn’t tell anyone, right?”

                “Hayley came and talked to me about it,” he replies, honestly. “She’s the only person, though, and she said she already knew.”

                Josh can feel his heart beat harder, but calms himself despite his better judgement. She did know. What concern it is of hers is beyond him, however. “Why would she talk to you about it?”

                “She said I should be careful with you, that’s all. It’s something I was concerned about to begin with. I don’t want to push you too hard, and I-“

                “Be careful with me?” Josh asks, his eyes narrowed. Hayley is always concerned about him, that much is true, but going out of her way to give Tyler a message like this? Almost feels unreasonable.

                Tyler bites his lip, “well she knows what you do, and-“

                “What do I do, Tyler? Hmm? Do you even know?” Josh spits. He doesn’t mean to sound angry, especially not with God still in the room.

                Tyler adjusts his tie again, his face beet red and sweat forming on his brow. “You, uh… You have… Sex. With men. For money. I think?”

                Josh shakes his head, angry with himself more than anything else. Of course Tyler knows what he does, he has at least three of the other basketball player’s cocks in his mouth every other day during basketball’s off season. “Thanks for inviting me, Tyler,” he says, standing from his seat, realizing halfway that his boner has subsided.

                “Josh, wait,” Tyler pleads, reaching out to grab Josh’s wrist. The pink haired man stops in his tracks, eyes wide and a little bewildered. Tyler’s grip is softer than he thought it would be, gentler. He’s begin careful, just like Hayley asked. “I want to know more about you.”

                “You don’t even know me,” he counters.

                “I want to. I want you to be happy, like I am, and with God-“

                “Oh, shut the fuck up.” Josh bleeds out, tugging at his wrist. Tyler doesn’t let go, however. He’s stronger than he seems. “What gives you the right to preach to me and-“

                “I don’t, you’re right.” Tyler says. He sounds a little defeated, a little despondent. “I just…. I want you to be happy, and the only way I know how to do that is by offering you what I have, the gift of God.”

                Josh scoffs, no longer trying to pull his hand away. There’s a comfort in Tyler’s grip, a security. “You want me to be happy? Then why don’t you try being my friend first. I don’t take gifts from strangers.

“My mom is in the hospital. She’s sick, they’re not sure with what. We’re waiting every day for a call to tell us she’s dead.” The air in the room suddenly becomes heavy, hard to breathe, like smoke. Josh can feel his eyes welling up but he doesn’t know why. He feels no compassion for Tyler, no sympathy, but his heart pounds and his eyes hurt like he wants to cry.

“Why would you tell me that?” Josh asks.

                “I want… To be your friend…” Tyler responds, his head hanging low. “Friends… They tell each other stuff like this, right?”

                Does he not know, either? Josh tells everything to Hayley, but between her and Brendon and a few people he knows on the internet, he doesn’t’ really have any friends. He assumed that Tyler was better at it, considering he’s surrounded by people on a daily basis. The church must be more complicated than he thought.

                “I’m trying to leave Sweet Dreams,” Josh whispers. Tyler’s grip loosens, slightly, until his palm is pressed into Josh’s. “If I can make my own way somewhere else, my mom and dad won’t have to worry so much about taking care of my brother and sister.”

                “That’s very noble,” Tyler says. The lights in the school shut off, the automatic timer telling them their time is up. Neither boy moves. “But sex? There are other jobs.”

                “Nothing that pays three hundred a night,” Josh says back. The moonlight descends on them, eyes finally adjusting to the darkness.

                “Come to my house tomorrow,” Tyler whispers, “spend the night.”

                Josh can feel every cell of blood moving through his body. “Do you have the cash, Joseph?”

                “Not for that,” Tyler shoots back. “Come to my house and spend the night cause we’re… We’re friends.”

                The bugs outside sing until it’s the only sound that permeates the air. Josh’s breath hitches in his throat, still sore.

                “Alright.”


	5. Scarred By Many Past Frustrations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh spends the night at Tyler's house. Spends most of the night at Tyler's house. Spends some time at night at Tyler's house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for my little hiatus. Real life got a little strange, but I should be back on track now. There's this chapter, I'll try to have another one up Friday, but if not we'll be back on a regular schedule on Monday. Thanks to everyone who is reading and enjoying!

                The floor is cold but not uncomfortable. Josh stares up at Tyler’s ceiling, listening to the soft in and out of his breathing. The pale moonlight shines through the window, just enough to keep Josh from closing his eyes comfortably. A ding rings out into the darkness, the phone of Josh’s screen lighting the room. He pulls it to him, Tyler moving and adjusting in his bed at the sound.

                The message is clear. 500 to service the golf team from another school. Luckily for him, the captain lives right next to Tyler. Lucky for him, their parents are gone for the night. Sneaking out of Tyler Joseph’s house is probably the hardest things he’s done since starting his little business. It’s like every sound made in Tyler’s room is amplified by one hundred. The window is on the second floor and Josh can’t find his shorts in the darkness. He doesn’t enjoy sleeping in his tights, but he didn’t exactly feel comfortable sleeping naked with someone he barely knows. Well, someone who hasn’t paid for it, at least.

                Somehow, through some form of black magic and every prayer to Satan there’s ever been, Josh hits the ground with a large thud. The screen protecting the window from the outside now carefully set against the wall just under the opening. It will be alright, for the next few hours at least. He makes his way across the street to the house with one light on in the upstairs. He knocks on the door carefully, not wanting to make any sort of mistake in his timing or the location.

                The person who opens the door looks very young, but very well defined. Josh had been assured that he and his crew are eighteen, and as long as he has those messages, he’s in the clear. “Ryan?” he asks, eyes narrowed. He wonders if anyone can see him, standing shirtless and in tights in front of the neighbor boy’s house. He wonders if Tyler’s dad can see him, standing nearly naked in front of the neighbor’s house.

                “Yeah, come in,” the boy steps back, ushering him in. He’s immediately greeted to four of five naked men, all masturbating. On the couch, on the floor, against the wall. All of them take up residence a few feet away from each other, never touching but in full view. Ryan moves passed Josh toward the center of the room, pulling his shorts down to join the two on the couch, his rather hefty cock swinging as he does.

                Josh takes a deep breath in, pulling his tights down and moving for Ryan. He knows who will be a challenge here and who he should start with, just from viewing the scene once. Two of them have over eight inches, and thick, Ryan and the man sitting next to him. The other two standing on the other side of the room are packing less, six inches or less. The last guy, sitting on the left of Ryan, probably no more than five but thicker than a beer can. It’s easy to size them up and get them marked down, he’s done it a million times before.

                One pulls out, another replaces him. That’s how it’s been, that’s how it’s always been. Ryan takes a turn, then his friend. One of them uses his mouth, then the next one. Before the clock ticks one, Josh has had them cum in him or on him at least twice over.

                One hundred from each of them, that’s how he ends the night. The only one of them able to stand, Josh grabs his tights from the floor and moves for the door. “Hey,” Ryan calls, waving from under the cum layered on his stomach. “Thanks.” The other guys wave their thanks as Josh makes his way out the door, the waistband of his tights making a pop and he pulls them all the way up.

                Getting down from Tyler’s window is one thing, getting back up is a whole other beast. The man sighs, leaning down to stretch before making an attempt to scale the wall.

                A light comes on the front porch and startles him. “Josh?” Tyler’s voice calls. Josh’s heart falls into his stomach and probably out his ass. He hasn’t had a moment to look down and check. “So, you did leave.” This entire thing has been a mess. Josh never wanted to stay, he never wanted to come to begin with. Clearly, standards have been set for him, that’s not his fault.

                He pulls the money out of his waistband with a cheeky grin, holding it up to Tyler like some kind of trophy. “I wouldn’t have left for just anything, y’know,” he almost sings. Tyler looks hurt, his eyebrows furrowed together until it looks like he might cry. There’s a strange turning in Josh’s stomach, and it’s not just the cum sloshing around his intestines. He feels something for the man. He feels bad? Something like it. Guilty.

                “Wait here,” Tyler says, turning back into the house. Josh sighs into the night air, waiting for Tyler to return with his bag of things. Maybe he’ll tell him to walk home. Maybe if he’s lucky. Tyler returns a few moments later with a popsicle, wrapped in a clear plastic. He holds one out to Josh, waiting for him to take it.

                Josh gives a look, something between bewilderment and confusion. “A… Popsicle?” He asks. Tyler shakes the treat in his hand, provoking Josh to take it, which he does. The boys go to work on opening either one. Tyler has the frozen red confection in his mouth before another work can be said. He takes a seat on the front porch, looking out into the street and the night sky. The other houses are quiet, dimmed with heavy sleep and the dreariness of dreams. There’s no one up right now, probably not even the people Josh had spent most of the night with. Josh joins him after unwrapping his own treat, careful to fold the plastic and put it somewhere safe to ensure its proper disposal later. “Listen, I’m sorry. I really thought you were asleep.”

                “I was,” Tyler responds, still not looking at Josh. Like a parent reprimanding their child, Tyler’s voice is neither angered nor exasperated. He just sounds still. “You, uh… You hit the ground pretty hard. I heard you land after you broke the screen of my window out.”

                “My dude, I’ll fix that, no problem!” Josh whines.

                Tyler holds his hand up to silence him. He doesn’t say anything for a minute, the popsicle occupying his lips for the time being. “I already fixed it, don’t worry about it.” Finally, he tilts his head until their eyes meet, and Josh feels the full front of what he’s done. Like a blizzard descending over his heart, the cool air that Tyler exudes feels almost like being frozen. “I guess you went to do…” he starts, not really able to say it. “Why do you do… That?”

                A long time ago, Josh decided that he didn’t owe anyone an explanation. Not his parents, not Hayley, not the people he actually slept with. This is different, however. Tyler invited him in, gave him food, didn’t come onto him once. Tyler is the kind of person who deserves an answers. He’s not owed one, but he deserves one. “My, uh… My family isn’t that well off. Well, we weren’t. My mom just got a new job and…. Anyway, we needed a lot of help. Both my parents work and my siblings they… They need things, y’know? We need things. I just, I didn’t want to be a burden on them. So, I have sex for money, to help my family and save up so I can leave Sweet Dreams.”

                He’s sure it’s not what Tyler wants to hear. He’s almost positive the other is wondering how he can tell him to leave without sounding like a complete douche. To his surprise, however, Tyler begins giggling. It starts as a giggle that turns into a laugh, which quickly turns into a fit. Josh’s eyes settle on the comedians form, watching as his lips open to reveal straight, white teeth. His small frame rocking back and forth with laughter. “H-hey!” Josh yells, a smile on his lips as well. “What are you laughing a?!”

                “You!” Tyler replies through his tears. The popsicle stick hanging from his hand. It’s a vibration that starts them both laughing. Just a couple of teenagers, laughing at the moonlight. For the first time in a while, Josh doesn’t feel like a teenager with a secret. He feels like a teenager with a life. When both of them have started each other laughing again at least once, the sound of giggling settles and disappears into the night, leaving them both teary eyed and a little breathless. “S-sorry, I didn’t mean at you!” Tyler explains, wiping his eyes. “I mean… I mean… I’ve never even…” Josh focuses his attention on Tyler once more, this time taking in his features while he’s not laughing, while he’s concentrating. It’s different, like going from one species of animal to another. “I’ve never even kissed someone, y’know? Thinking about having sex… Having sex for money? It just… It’s such a farfetched idea to me!” he says through another set of giggles, the last remnants of their passing.

                Josh settles down until he’s got the same face on. Concentration and the unraveling of perturbation. “What?” he asks, eyebrows furrowing together in confusion. “What do you mean you’ve never kissed someone?”

                “I’ve never kissed anyone!” Tyler says again, twirling the stick in his fingers.

                “That Jenna girl follows you around like a lost puppy!” Josh exclaims, more loudly than he’d like to admit. He’s genuinely surprised, that’s all.

                Tyler shakes his head, “Jenna? No way! She’s just a good friend. I’ve never wanted to kiss her… I don’t think? How do you know what it feels like?”

                “It feels like…. Hmm, well…” Josh runs through the memories of his kisses, most of them for work. He flows through them like water, looking for an example that would make the most sense. Finally, he settles on Brendon, the only person he’s kissed without the incentive of money a factor. “It feels sort of like a pull. Like, something is pulling you forward, tugging at your chest.” He reaches over, gently gripping Tyler’s shirt in his hand. “You look at someone, right? Face to face, usually after a date or something,” he assumes. “You kinda feel this knot in your stomach, like you’re gonna throw up but you can’t. Then, you get a little closer and they don’t turn away.” He pulls Tyler closer, their faces now inches apart. Tyler’s eyes widen with fear, his head nodding unconsciously. “And then, you lean in really close, like this…. Then you… Pucker your lips…” Josh can feel Tyler’s breath on his lips, their faces a mere inch apart now.

                Josh feels as though he might throw up, but knows he can’t. The first light of day begins heating the world, revealing the duo in the truth of the morning. Josh’s breath hitches, his will unable to push him any further. Tyler’s lip quivers, waiting to form words but never coming out. “Wh-what time is it?” Tyler whispers, eyes never once breaking from Josh’s.

                “Tyler, Josh! Time for breakfast!” Tyler’s father calls. Just like that, they fall away, pulling apart like nothing had ever happened. Josh quickly stands, wanting to get inside and his clothes on before Tyler’s dad notices that he’s not wearing as much as he should for being outside.

                Carefully and cautiously, Tyler and Josh make it back to his room by sneaking passed the kitchen and up the stairs. They’re sure safety is upon them when they hear the shower downstairs come on. They get dressed in silence, both boys facing opposite walls to avoid looking at each other. “I want to show you something…” Tyler whispers, buttoning up his shirt for the day. Josh slips on a tank top over his skinnies, skin covered in goosebumps.

                “Need a ride?” Tyler’s dad asks, watching as both boys descend the stairs.

                “No, thank you, dad. We’re going to… I’m gonna go visit mom before school.” Tyler’s father’s eyes widen at the thought. He knows how long it’s been since Tyler has been to visit, and the weight it’s put on his mother.

                “Thank you for letting me stay, Mr. Joseph,” Josh steps forward, breaking the silence between his friend and the father. “It was wonderful.”

                “Uh, no… No problem, Josh. Come by anytime,” he nods.

                If Tyler weren’t quickly becoming someone he really enjoys, Josh would probably bang his dad.

                He stands on the spokes of Tyler’s bike as they make their way through Sweet Dreams, the laziness of morning dispersing like a fog through the banks of a bay. Groggy people in bath robes come outside for the morning paper with cups of coffee, joggers and health freaks taking a morning run with dogs, and the few people on the road who have to be at work before 7:30 are the only people awake at this time. It’s like the night, when the only people who existed were Tyler and Josh, except now they’re real, and very much a part of the balance of things. In the night, they could just disappear. In the day, they would be missed.

                “Are we really going to see your mom?” Josh asks, leaning forward on the bike to get close to Tyler’s ear. Tyler nods. He doesn’t say anything, partially because he’s not sure if Josh would even hear him. How does one explain that they need moral support to see their mother? Who in this world could be scared of someone they love so much. Plenty of people, Tyler tells himself, but probably not like this.

                The hospital is already rumbling with life as people in the triage work on the morning’s paperwork. Tyler parks his bike outside, waits for Josh to hop off, and then locks it to the bike rack just beyond the front door. Inside, he’s greeted like an old friend. “Well, if it isn’t Tyler Joseph!” A woman calls from behind the front desk. He smiles, widely, stepping quickly to wrap his arms around her, and her him.

                “Oh, Tanya! It’s been so long, how are you? We miss you at church!” Tyler exclaims, happily.

                The woman makes a face like disappointment, shaking her head back and forth. “Oh, you know how it is, baby. Who’s your little friend here?” she asks, turning to Josh.

                “This is Josh Dun.” Tyler says. It’s flat, neutral even. Josh offers a small wave and the woman offers her hand.

                “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Josh Dun. I’m Tanya Howard, nurse and personal care worker for Mrs. Joseph.” She turns her attention back to Tyler. “You’re here to visit, aren’t you?” Tyler nods. “Perfect, I was just about to give your mother her medication, why don’t you come with me.” She smiles, her white teeth a sharp contrast to her dark skin.

                They follow her bright teddy bear printed scrubs down the hall to a corridor of doors all lined up and equal paces apart. Josh never really minded hospitals, but one look at Tyler makes him realize that his friend might. Tyler’s fists ball together, his eyes cast downward until it looks as though they might roll back into his head. Josh reaches over to pat Tyler’s shoulder, making the man flinch, scaring him without meaning. When they arrive at a door near the end of the hall, Tyler holds his breath. “Good morning, Mrs. Joseph,” Tanya greets, stepping into the room nonchalantly. “You have some visitors this morning.”     

                Josh’s mouth nearly falls open when he sees Tyler’s mother. Beautiful, raven haired goddess connected to the wall by machines and tubes that flow into her body through needles. Like a constellation grounded on earth, looking at her is like looking at an angel itself, and for a brief second, Josh almost swears he can see Tyler in her. “Tyler?” She asks, her voice weak and cracked.

                Tyler looks as though he might cry. He takes a step forward, nodding his head. It pains him to see her this way, Josh can tell just by looking at him. Of course, he’d feel the same if his mother were in the hospital like this. She looks as though she might wither away at any minute, her beauty dispersed to the world and gifted throughout the wind.

                “Hi, mom,” Tyler chokes out, arriving at the edge of her bed. She smiles, a perfect, passionate smile. Her hand reaches for his, and he flinches at first, but takes hers with both hands. “This is my friend Josh.”

                “Josh Dun,” she says, eyelids falling in a warm smile. Josh steps forward, a small wave again his only response. “You look just like your mother.”

                “You know my mom?” Josh asks, a little confused.

                “I used to work with her. Different departments,” she says, softly. Josh’s eyes widen, of course they worked together. Of course Tyler’s mom would know Josh’s, of course. Their lives were never separate, and now Tyler’s mind is set. This was always meant to happen. “I still do some of their paperwork. When they asked me for a recommendation to take my place, your mother was the first person that came to mind.”

                Josh stands in shock. The reason his mother got her promotion, the reason that their family’s life has become better, miles better, is because Tyler’s life had to get miles worse. He stares at Tyler’s mom, and then at Tyler, wondering if they were ever really different people. Wondering if the universe knew what kind of cruel game it was playing. “I wasn’t fired, don’t worry,” Tyler’s mom lets out a small, broken laugh. “I still work for them… Just not as… Hands on…” she lifts her other hand, pale skin doing little to hide the blue veins underneath. A porcelain statue, just as beautiful and just as fragile.

                “Time for you medicine,” Tanya interrupts, moving from the cabinet at one side of the room with a handful of pulls. Tyler’s mother takes them with a sip of water, careful not to spill. Tyler’s breath hitches, so loud that Josh hears it, standing just behind him. Tanya returns to the cabinet for a syringe, piercing the I.V. with the drug and pouring it in. “That’s gonna make you sleepy for a while, Josephine.”

                “Thank you, Tanya,” she nods, turning back to Tyler, who still holds her hand. “I have to go now, my love,” she whispers. There’s not stopping the tears that roll down his face. “I just need a little rest, I’ll be home soon.”

                Tyler nods, like a child being promised a better tomorrow. He leans forward and kisses her cheek, hand detaching from hers in an instant. He makes it out of the room without saying another word. “Thank you, ma’am,” Josh says, still not totally gone. His pink hair, his ripped jeans, his shitty shirt. He’s not sure what kind of impression he’s made, but he hopes it’s a good one.

                “Do me a favor, Joshua,” Tyler’s mother whispers, beckoning him closer. He takes a step forward, taking her hand in his own. “Be kind to him.” She smiles, letting her head fall back to rest against the pillow. Josh nods his head and takes a step back, following Tanya out of the room.

                “What was that, can I ask?” Josh steps in line with her.  

                “You can ask, but I can’t tell you,” Tanya responds. “Against regulation to tell what a patient is getting if you’re not family or someone directly looking after her. They return to the triage with Tyler nowhere to be found. “Don’t worry, though, she’s doing just fine.” Josh nods, leaning against the front desk. “Pass that on to Tyler, will you? It’s always so long between his visits, he never really sees the progress she’s making. She’ll be back to normal in no time, we can probably release her soon. Just, tell him that?”

                Again, Josh nods. He hugs her, like he knows Tyler would want him to, and departs, finding his friend with his head against the wall. The sound of sobbing clear, even with the hustle and bustle of the emergency room right next door. “Hey, Tyler?” he calls, moving toward him. This is not the kind of thing he’s equipped for. They barely became friend, right? This is not the sort of thing he can be trusted to handle. “Hey, my dude, it’s gonna be alright.” He presses his hand to Tyler’s back, and Tyler instantly turns to embrace him. He buries his face into Josh’s shoulder, wet tears staining his skin.

                Josh is taken aback at first, hands off to either side, wondering what to do. It only takes a second, however, and some instinctual part of him kicks in. He presses his chest to Tyler’s, stepping forward to take him in his arms fully. He wraps his arms around his friend, cooing and shhing while rubbing Tyler’s back. “It’s going to be alright. Tanya just told me your mom is doing great, she’s gonna be fine. Plus she’s totally hot, like, if she weren’t in the hospital…”

                Tyler starts laughing, the kind of laugh you do when a friend makes you laugh when existential dread has set in. It’s gross and wet and Josh is pretty sure there’s snot on his shirt now, but it doesn’t matter. Tyler is laughing instead of crying, and that’s what matters.

                He picks his head up from Josh’s shoulder, eyes red and face pale but looking more like his mother than before. Josh’s stomach turns, and he feels it, the pull. The feeling like he has to throw up, but he knows he can’t. They stare it each other again, like they had before, but now there’s nothing to save them. No darkness to ensure their safety. No moonlight to guide their actions.

                Josh is ready to pull away and forget these thoughts ever crossed his mind when he feels Tyler’s hands on his hips, pulling him forward. In an instant like a shooting star, their lips press together, and Tyler Joseph has his first kiss.  


	6. You Won't Be Able to Come Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh tries to convince Tyler that he's made a mistake. Tyler Joseph proves that he doesn't make mistakes.

                “You did what?” Hayley nearly yells. She leans forward on the table, hand gripping her coffee cup like it’s the last thing keeping her tethered to the world. Josh brings his finger to his lips, an attempt at silencing her.

                “Can you like, dial it back?” he responds, looking around to ensure that no one has heard. Of all the people to kiss, of all the people that could’ve possibly been with him that night, it had to be Tyler Joseph. “He kissed me, alright? Let’s get that straight right out of the god damn box.”

                Hayley, still in shock, brings the cup to her lips, a soft sip echoing out in to the open air between them. This is no fear of men, no, this is something totally different. This is Josh admitting that he kissed someone that hadn’t paid him to do so. “So, what happens now? You’re gonna date him, right?” she lifts an eyebrow.

                He shakes his head, immediately turned off by the idea. “There’s no- there’s no way, my dude. I don’t date people, right? I have sex with them and then they pay me and then-“

                “Tyler Joseph most certainly did not pay you,” Hayley counters. Josh shakes his head again, trying to clear the memory from his mind. No matter how many times he pushes it away, like a boomerang it just comes back for more. The taste of his lips, cherry like the popsicle. The feel of his hands, the pressure of their bodies pulled together. “Better make a call quick,” Hayley remarks, leaning back in her seat. Confused, Josh turns to where she faces, finding Tyler’s form enter the coffee shop just a few feet away. He’s skipping school. He knew where they’d be.

                Josh immediately ducks his head down. His hands rush to his head, hiding the pink that would give him away too easily. “Shhh!” he beckons. “If we’re really quiet, maybe he won’t see us.”

                Hayley reaches over, hand folding flush against his forearm. “I’m doing this because I love you.” She smirks, and Josh feels his heart sink. “TyJo!” she stands. He spots them immediately, waving at her while crossing the room. Josh mouths the words FUCK YOU as clear as day so she knows just how much he hates her. “You should be in class right now. I never knew you were such a bad boy,” she smirks.

                “I asked to go to the library. Nobody’s gonna miss me for a while,” Tyler confirms. Of course, even when he’s doing something bad, he’s taken the most goody two-shoes way of getting there. “You guys should be in class too, right?”        

                “The difference here, my dear boy, is that Josh and I are pieces of garbage.” Hayley’s eyebrows lift in challenge and Josh wishes he could stab her right between them. “You’re a model student, I applaud your willingness to break the rules. I assume you’re here to talk to our poor puppy?”

                He can’t look, he won’t. There’s nothing in Tyler’s eyes he wants to see. Curiosity, however, is a hell of a drug, and while there’s nothing that could change the way he feels about the situation, there is a definite chance that Tyler could get him to at least reconsider.

                “Actually, yeah,” Tyler smiles. Josh looks up, the worst decision he’s made so far besides actually allowing himself to be kissed, and spots Tyler’s crinkled eyes, the straight teeth. He’s smiling wide, and happily and it makes Josh absolutely sick. “It shouldn’t take long… Would you mind…?”

                Hayley, who watches with the intent of a hawk on a fieldmouse, lifts her head for a brief moment to utter a small ‘hmm?’. “Me? Oh! Of course, of course. I’ll get out of your way. My coffee needs a freshening up anyway.” She stands to leave, despite Josh’s pleads with his eyes for her to stay. Tyler takes her place, perfect face and teeth and lips all smiles as he does so.

                “Listen, I don’t want to-“

                “No, you listen,” Josh interrupts, eyes narrowed. His breathing is shallow, rushed. Goddamnit, why is this so hard? “This morning was a mistake, alright? I shouldn’t have let you kiss me, I should’ve walked away. I saw it coming from so far away. You need to go be with Jenna, or hell, even Hayley. Literally anyone but me.”               

                Tyler’s eyebrows furrow in confusion. Hurt clear on his face, his eyes drop down to the table, watching idly as his fingers intertwine among themselves. “I, um…. You didn’t let me kiss you. I just… I kissed you because I wanted to.” Josh’s face softens, eyes widening a little more. “It was… It was nice and I’m sorry it wasn’t that good for you? I can get better, though! I know you’ve probably had some good kisses before, with those other people, but I can get better. I just need some… Some practice.”

                How oblivious can this kid be? Josh feels his face heat up, his chest reddening with every passing second. “Are you… Shitting me? Tyler, it’s not about the kiss! It’s about who you kissed, my guy. It was a mistake and I think-“

                “It wasn’t a mistake,” Tyler says firmly. “I didn’t make a mistake, I knew exactly what I was doing. I’ve never wanted to kiss Jenna before, especially not Hayley. I felt it with you, exactly what you talked about. The pull, the want, everything.”

                The blood in Josh’s veins pumps a little bit faster. His heart beating quicker and quicker, like he’s running a marathon but never once moving. His hands grip his tights underneath the table, so much so that he thinks they might rip after a little while. Suddenly, his phone buzzes. It scares him, but he quickly pulls it out to check. “You want to see why it was a mistake?” Josh asks, reading the message so that he can look at something other than Tyler. “I’ll show you.” He stands, taking the man by the hand and leading him to the door.

                “Where are you going?” Hayley calls after them. The barista she’d clearly been flirting with leans over the counter to watch them go.

                “To work!” Josh calls back, angrily pulling the door open. If it weren’t for his small frame, Hayley might swear she almost saw the door come off its hinges.

                The back of the school is mostly abandoned during the day, making it the ideal place for Josh to bring clients. This time, a few of the lacrosse team put some money together, offering it to him under the bleachers of the football field. Josh marches to the group, Tyler’s hand firmly grasped in his own. “Where are we going?” Tyler asks, walking as though he’s not being pulled at all. He keeps pace as best he can, because he doesn’t want Josh to hurt himself trying to go somewhere with him in tow.

                “To work,” Josh responds, flagging down the group of boys and moving toward them. They look a little weary when they realize someone is with him, but don’t disperse like so many others. Usually Josh is alone, but he’s a trustworthy guy. They know him. They know what he’s about.

                The captain, a man named Colton, steps forward. “Who’s this?” he asks, pointing to Tyler. Josh drops his hand, moving toward the group and passed Colton.

                “Wants to get into the business,” he says. Josh has a strange way of being when he’s with clients. It’s business, and nothing but business. Winston knows this better than anyone. No talking, no fun and games. He’d rather his ass be fucked and then his life left alone. He drops to his knees in front of one of the other players, a man named Dylan. He pulls his basketball shorts down, cock flopping out and dangling just in front of Josh’s lips.

                “Josh…” Tyler starts, taking a step forward. It’s too late. Josh has already begun working, taking the man’s cock into his mouth. He sucks it to hardness, reaching over to palm Colton through his shorts. This is how it has to be. This is how he leaves Sweet Dreams. This is how he convinces Tyler that there are better people than him.

                Tyler bites his lip, eyes widening as he watches the events unfold. Colton pulls down his shorts and Josh takes both cocks in his mouth at once. The last team member, Scott, moves behind Josh to pull his tight down, exposing his butt to the air. He presses his face between the supple cheeks, tonging the hole found between them. “Josh…” Tyler whispers again. This time, there’s no urgency, nothing to insinuate that there’s any fire left in him to fight. He sees what’s happening, the events unfolding in front of him. He watches as each man gets his cock sucked, each one having their turn with the mouth that he’d kissed just a few hours before. He watches as Colton moves behind him and shoves his manhood between Josh’s cheeks without warning. He sees Josh’s face grimace thrust after thrust.

                Never once does he turn away, however. Never once does he close his eyes. Since the morning, Josh is the only thing Tyler has been able to think about. Since the morning, Jenna Black has never once crossed his mind, the meeting they’re supposed to have not even registering to him until Josh had mentioned her in the coffee shop. Tyler knows what he feels, the undeniable pull that radiates from his stomach and exits through every physical part of his body. He knows that this is God’s work. That the lord himself is calling him to be with Josh. He was confused at first, why he would be lead to someone who might not come easily, but now he knows. Now it’s clear. He’s not meant to just lead him to the church, to Christ, no. He’s meant to lead him to the church through his love. They’re meant to be together.

                Colton’s moans draw his attention, and Tyler feels his stomach churn as the man pulls out and cums on Josh’s rear. He’s only masturbated once or twice before, but seeing Josh like this. It makes him feel dirty. It makes him feel wrong. He wants to be the only one touching him this way. Dylan and Scott take their turns, violating Josh one by one, cumming once or twice on his face, on his ass, until their balls are empty and their lusts spent. Colton reaches into his pocket once his shorts are back on and pulls out a few hundreds, handing them to the cum covered Josh. The pink haired man nods, waving the money at them as they walk away.

                “See?” Josh asks, wiping his face clean. He kneels down in the dirt, catching his breath and giving his legs a rest. Tyler moves toward him, slowly, but surely. “This is what I do, alright? This is how I make it work. I’m leaving Sweet Dreams, Tyler Joseph and I’m not coming back. I’m leaving all this behind the second I get the ch-“

                Tyler drops down into the dirt in front of Josh, moving forward to press their lips together once more. He tastes the salty cum left by the other boys, lips sliding against it to make contact with Josh. There’s nothing he’d rather be doing, if he’s totally honest.

                Josh pushes him away as quickly as he can get his bearings about him. Which, admittedly, is a lot longer than he expects. “What the fuck?!” he yells, staring Tyler straight in the eye. It makes him furious, the other man’s soft expression. The look that one gives another when there’s really nothing to be said. It’s comforting and infuriating all at once. “Were you not listening to me?! Pay a-fucking-ttention, Joseph!” Tyler pushes forward to press their lips together again, this time allowing his tongue to dart out and into Josh’s mouth. The other boy allows his lips to part, accepting Tyler in all his various forms.

                Josh jumps when he feels Tyler’s hand between his legs. The man grips Josh’s cock in his palm, pulling at it to get it hard. “What are you…?”

                Tyler presses their chests together after pulling away, left hand pushing into the small of Josh’s back to keep them together. “All those other boys got to cum, but not you,” he whispers. His mouth so close to Josh’s ear, it doesn’t take much to hear him. Josh gets hard in an instant, his manhood filling Tyler’s hand without a problem. Tyler jacks him as he would himself, stroking the length to the tip and then all the way down. He hears Josh’s breaths becoming more frantic, more and more needy.

                The pink-haired man grips at Tyler’s back, mouth planted firmly into the man’s shoulder. There’s not argument to be made anymore. Tyler has seen him at his most powerful, when he has complete control of his sexuality, and instead of running, it’s only brought them chest to chest. Josh’s balls tighten, the threat of orgasm wringing at the bottom of Josh’s stomach.

                “I’m…” he whispers. Tyler doesn’t stop his stroking. It becomes faster, if anything. “I’m cumming!”

                Underneath the bleachers, with his chest pressed to Tyler Joseph’s, Josh Dun shoots his load into the dirt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the amazing reviews. I'm honestly so happy that you guys are enjoying this work. I'm not going to stop writing it anytime soon, I do hope you'll stick around with me. Thanks again for your support <3


	7. Newer Forms of Rebellion.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler and Josh go for a swim.

                The sound of water lapping against the cement surface of the ground echoes through the room, the only sound audible besides the soft breathing of two boys at play. Josh laughs, his whole body pushing forward to move as much water as he can at Tyler, who giggles and paddles his hands in response. Josh cuts through the water in one firm stroke, closing the gap between the two and pressing a firm kiss to Tyler’s lips, a feeling he never tires of, or has yet to.

                In these moments, they are free. Truly, beautifully, as God intended. Tyler no longer worries about who might see them, or if they might think badly about Josh’s reputation, and Josh has found a way to revoke his past, to look forward to the future. He blames Tyler for his newfound happiness, sometimes, like it’s a game. He pokes fun at the other like he’s unhappy with the way things have ended up. He never really is.

                Josh presses his hands into the cement, lifting his body out of the water and allowing his naked form to lay on its back, calves still in the water. Tyler joins him, black briefs clinging firmly to his legs. Out of breath and a little flushed, Josh laughs again, his body having with the effort it’s take to get him from one side of the pool to the other. He hadn’t realized how athletic Tyler really is until this moment, watching his boyfriend with one eye open and the other closed to rest.

                “You’re pretty cute,” Josh jokes, reaching upward to press his palm into Tyler’s cheek. He smiles, allowing his face to lean against the pressure of the palm. He’s used to getting this small compliments by now. Laying all the cards on the table just isn’t Josh’s style, and Tyler has learned that better than anyone.

                The weight of his passion overtakes him, and Tyler reaches out to touch Josh as well. He allows his hand to slide up and down the man’s abs, stroking the small tufts of hair that he finds just above his manhood. Josh closes his eyes, allowing the feeling to become part of him, each small stroke making his skin bubble with goosebumps. The cool air doesn’t help his disposition but it definitely makes him remember where they are. Tyler rests his hand on the nape of Josh’s neck, leaning in until his breath is warm against Josh’s chest. “I love you,” he whispers.

                The sound of water flowing against the cold cement ground once again overtakes the sound in the building. Josh’s breathing has halted, and Tyler can feel the lack of pressure inside the man’s chest. “You don’t have to say it back,” Tyler reassures, turning his head so gently it feels like it’s barely even rested. He turns until his eyes can properly look at Josh’s face without changing the position of his head, eyes doing most of the work until it becomes apparent that Josh is looking away.

                Naked as the day he was born, Josh still cannot find the proper words to express how he feels about Tyler. Is it love? He’s not sure what that’s supposed to feel like. He loves his parents, his siblings, hell, sometimes he loves coming home to a fresh cooked meal. That’s not what he feels for Tyler, however.

                Josh shakes his head, lifting his body up and pressing his hands into Tyler’s arms to keep him stable as he rises. Tyler sits up, water trickling down his body. “Tyler…” Josh whispers, hands still planted firmly. He swallows, the thick lump of saliva on his tongue coming down his throat with an audible gulp. Tyler begins to say something, opening his mouth just enough for the air to start forming a word, but it doesn’t come out, not before Josh can stop it with a kiss.

                “You make me feel like my favorite song is playing,” he starts, smiling at Tyler. “You make my stomach turn, like when you see a kissing scene in a movie and wish it was you.” Josh slides into the pool, staying close to the edge to keep Tyler in his sights and near his body. “You make my head get fuzzy, like I’m eating after fasting all day.” He pulls Tyler into the water, allowing it to consume them both. “You make me feel like the water touching my whole body!” he laughs, wrapping his arms around the taller male. Tyler happily spins them around, neck bracing for Josh’s arms that wrap gently around him. The move together, slowly, through the water. Like a dance that’s never really done, they stare into each other’s eyes like they’ve just met.

                Josh gently rests his head against Tyler’s shoulder. For a moment, there is nothing else but the two of them. If they could perceive time as it really is, Josh might swear he could see them when they’re old, dancing at their children’s wedding. The very thought scares him, growing old, having a responsibility like a child, the whole bit. He wonders if Tyler might wake up one day and realize how much he loves Jenna instead. He wonders if Tyler might become too enthralled with the idea of them, and get more and more disappointed everyday with how things have worked out.

                There, in the pool in the middle of the night, Josh realizes just how radical love really is. To give oneself to someone else, to make them a part of their lives despite the consequences, it really is so stupid and crazy, it might just be the only thing worth doing.

                After a few more minutes of turning, Josh lifts his head, staring at Tyler once more. Taking in his face, the top of his chest, the way his shoulders expand just enough outward to make him look proportionate. He smiles the dumbest smile he can, and it makes Josh laughs like it always does. Leaving Sweet Dreams would have been a mistake, if it meant he couldn’t see Tyler anymore.

                “You make me feel,” Josh whispers, his breathing becoming heavier. “Like I’m home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had writer's block and decided to torture the three people that still follow this story.


	8. It Is His Duty and His Burden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler's mother is scheduled to come home from the hospital. She doesn't quite make it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, quick poll, who would read a TOP story about Tyler and Josh in high school because I've been dying to write a Jock/Nerd thing and Josh and Tyler are really the only two people I like writing any more lmao.

                Josh wakes as the light of day shines through his open window. Birds sing outside, chirping the day’s greetings and welcoming him back into the world of the living and awake, a world he feels he hasn’t experienced in some time. He lifts himself from the bed, stretching his limbs to get the blood back into them, his body creaking and groaning with every forceful movement.

                Tyler wakes in a chair at the hospital, the soft beep of his mother’s machines having lulled him to sleep. There’s a peace in the halls as day breaks, the first of the rounds just finishing and the weight of infection still light on people’s minds. He lifts his body upward, muscles aching and sore from sleeping in such an uncomfortable position. If there is something to be done, it is not to be done today.

                Josh makes his way down the hall in his boxers, sliding into the bathroom before anyone else can claim it for their own. The sound of water hitting plastic is the only one that greets him this morning. He strips the loose cloth off to get under the running water, its temperature doing the most to wake him from his still slumbering state. His dreamy eyes and shallow breath disappear after a moment of warm reassurance. He touches the places Tyler touched in their weekend beforehand, fluttering and fleeting brushes of fingertips the only reminder he has that he is still real. That there is still something in this world worth fighting for.

                The coffee in Tyler’s hand is way too hot, but he’s used to it. This is the way the nurses get their coffee to ensure a productive day. He returns to his mother’s side, the first time he’s visited her alone in quite some time. There’s always someone with him, a fact he’d refused to acknowledge until a few moments ago. Now, however, with no one by his side, he sets the coffee on the small table near her bed, and takes his mother’s hand. She stirs, but not enough to draw any attention, and her heart monitor flutters for a moment, but resets it’s pace a few seconds later. She’s too weak to do anything now, but that’s something Tyler just has to get used to.

                Stepping out of the shower into the cold air of the morning makes Josh shudder. He dries most of his body with a towel before wrapping it around his waist, keeping it as close to his person as possible. His sibling’s should be waking or already awake, making the trip from the bathroom back to his room naked that much more perilous. The door creaks open and he peeks out, surveying the hall before throwing his body forward, basically tumbling to his room in an attempt to keep any part of his family from seeing the small kiss marks left on his hip bones. The door slams as he makes it back to his room, and he sighs while letting the towel fall. In the safety of his room, he can be naked and unafraid.

                The clothes on the chair remind Tyler that today is the day. Today is the day his mother comes home after all this time. The long night finally worth it, he stares at her monitor to ensure that not even God himself take this day away from him. A soft knocking pulls him from his concentration, but only for a moment. Tanya steps in, her scrubs bright and friendly as ever. “Well, good morning little mister,” she giggles. Tyler nods in response, a childish act in trying to keep his focus on something else. “Excited for your mom to go home, hmm?” Again, he nods. “She’s been a real trooper around here. Promise you won’t be a stranger now that you’re taking mama home, alright?” Tyler turns his head, unable to think correctly when such a generous offer comes about. Would she really miss him that much? Tanya closes the gap between them after writing some things down on her clipboard, embracing him against her body tightly. “We’re gonna miss that sweet face around here, Tyler Joseph. You and your mom need to come back for a visit. This time, to the hospital beds, and not in one.”

                His tights slip on with ease, as they always do. His shirt comes over his head and across his chest without any fight. Usually, there are bruises, or scratch marks from rough sex to cover up, but not now. Now, Josh wears a tank top that proudly shows off the cut of his arms to the world there’s nothing to hide, at least, not right now. Another pair of shorts to go over the tights to keep his bulge well-hidden and he’s ready for the day. He grabs his backpack, throwing open the door to his room and stepping out into the bright and beautiful world. The sun seems to shine only for him, and when he finally makes it to the living room to greet his family, he’s met with a harrowing silence. His mother stands in the corner, hand over her mouth, his dad a few feet away, pressing his hand into her shoulder as a comfort. One of his sibling’s gently pads out of the room, walking passed Josh in the process. He stops her, pointing at his parents in wonder. “One of mom’s work friends died,” she responds, “they called a few minutes ago.”

                Tyler’s mother sits up in her bed, finally up and ready for the day. She looks over the clothes that Tyler has brought her, and smiles at every one of the choices he’s made. “You’ve done good to make sure I look my best on the way out of here, huh?” she asks, holding the cardigan up and giving it a once over. Tyler nods, the basic approval of his mother all he needs to make his heart swell. “Well, don’t just stand there, leave and let your mother get dressed!” He nods, standing from his side near her bed and exiting into the hallway. The halls barely begin waking as Tyler makes his way down them, people just now arriving to visit their loved ones, hospital beds creaking as bodies begin their movement within them. He makes it halfway down the hall before the siren goes off, red lights erupting from somewhere behind him. His heart drops as he turns around, the .3 seconds it takes to get his head far enough back to see where the sound is coming from like an eternity. When he finally makes it back, his legs move on instinct, pushing him forward toward his mother’s room.

                Josh sprints down the street as fast as his feet will take him. He curses with every labored breath that he didn’t grab his bike when he had the chance. Now, hallway down the street, it’s too late to go back, and it’s too important to waste any more time. The hospital isn’t that far away from his house, but it’s far enough to take a while on foot. “Fuck, fuck fuck,” he breathes, backpack banging against his spinal column with every step. The promise of a new day suddenly dissolves in him like medicine, releasing dread and worry that consumes his stomach and moves through his body like the plague. He sees Tyler’s face in his head over and over again, smiling, happy. He sees the water from the pool they snuck into, hears the music they listen to, and feels the weight of his best friend on his chest. His boyfriend. He can’t move fast enough to get where he needs to be. The hospital appears in the distance, it’s silhouette enough to renew his resolve, and he pumps his already dying legs faster and faster until it’s no more than a mile away.

                Nurses move down the hall Tyler attempts so desperately to make his way down. His worst fears are realized when he sees Tanya shouting frantically from the door, pulling the cart holding the defibrillator into the room his mother is in. He’d just talked to her moments before, just known her wellness like a book he’s read so many times before. He bursts into the room and into tears, throwing himself onto the bed and wrapping his arms around his mother. “Tyler,” she coughs, chest convulsing over and over, her body rocking and shaking with tremors that might move mountains. He cries and cries, unable to find the words to say. Tanya puts her arms around him, pulling at him desperately to allow the nurses to get to work. He shrugs her off, clinging like a child to his mother. “S-such a g… Good boy,” she whispers, hand slipping from his face and gripping his shirt. One of the bigger orderlies grabs Tyler and pulls him outside, the both of them falling to the ground of the hall. Tyler sees the nurses rushing his mother, the sound of her heart monitor echoing through the empty corridor, through his thoughts. The monotone sound of a lack of heartbeat.

                Out of breath and more weary than he’d like to admit, Josh sprints into the hospital, falling down as he enters the building. A nurse moves to help him up, which he accepts, but not for long. “Joseph,” he breathes, looking around. “I’m here to see Mrs. Joseph!” The nurse nods, grabbing the sign in sheet and handing it to him. He angrily swipes his hand across it, feigning a signature in favor of saving time. He bounds down the hall to the elevator, hoping against hope that he isn’t too late.

                The elevator door opens, the somber tone of the room sucking the air from the elevator as Josh steps out. Tanya sits at the front desk of this hall, typing away at some paperwork before she notices him. “Tanya,” Josh waves, moving toward her. She looks up, eyes puffy from crying.

                “Oh, hi, baby,” she says, wiping her eyes with the back of her hands. “How you doing?”

                “Is she alright? What happened?” Josh asks.

                Tanya clears her throat, shaking her head a little. “There was a little bit of a hiccup with her transferal, but she’s alright now.”

                Josh lets out a sigh of relief, hand over his chest. A second later, he looks at her with a bewilderment he’d never known before. “Wait, what?” Tanya eyes him back, eyebrow raising. “I thought she was dead?!”

                She gasps, holding his hand to her chest to match him. “What? No! She had a small cardiac episode, you’re talking about Mrs. Joseph, aren’t you?” It only now occurs to Josh that his sibling had said a friend, not which friend. He assumed the worst, thinking only about how much he could lose, not how much he might have. He shakes his head again to clear his thoughts.

                “Sorry,” he whispers, looking down at his hands. “I guess…. I thought-“

                “Josh?” Tyler sniffles, looking at the pink haired boy from down the hall. Josh’s face lights up like a Christmas tree. Seeing Tyler this way ignites something in him, something primal. Without a second thought, he moves to his boyfriend, throwing his arms around the man as Tyler collapses into him, sobbing. For this brief moment, it doesn’t matter that Josh is sweating beyond all measure, or that Tyler is soaking his shirt in tears. They are happy, if only to exist in the same world at the same time.

                Josh pulls away first, hands pressed firmly into Tyler’s shoulders. “Is she alright?”

                Tyler uses his the back of his hand to wipe away the snot accumulated at his nose. “Y-yeah… They said the excitement probably got to her, made her body chemistry shit itself or something…” Josh laughs a little, only because he doesn’t know how else to react. Tyler laughs with him, a few tears still trickling down his face. “She’s still coming home today, but they want to keep an eye on her for a few more hours. Can you, uh… Tell the school, or something?” Josh nods, confirming his willingness. Tyler smiles at him the way only he can. A way that makes Josh feel like everything will be alright.

                “Tyler?” Mrs. Joseph calls. Her voice is weak, but firm. Tyler moves from Josh the moment he hears it and Josh moves in tow, their bodies connected by an invisible line. Tyler moves in slowly, trying his hardest not to upset the gentle balance they’ve found. “Oh, Josh… Sweety, it’s good…. To see you…” She’s just as out of breath as he is, but at least she’s breathing.

                “You, too, Mrs. Joseph.” Josh nods, waving a little, unsure if she can even see him in this state.

                “Will you be… Walking my boy… To school?” She asks.

                “Mom, I’m not going to scho-“

                “Nonsense,” she interjects, “you have to… Go to… School.”

                Her breathing is so labored, it makes Josh wonders if it doesn’t pain her just to intake oxygen. “Josh… I’m glad you’re… Here…” She extends her hand, offering it to him. He steps forward, sliding his palm into hers. Tyler moves around the room slowly, quietly, keeping his presence as simple as possible. With eyes closed, she extends her other hand, offering it to her son. He takes it. “So beautiful…” she laughs. “I didn’t know… My son… Had such good… Taste…” Mrs. Joseph moves her hands together until Tyler and Josh are holding hands over her.

                She releases them, smiling happily. Her heart monitor thumps happily, keeping the beat that sings her wellbeing. Josh smiles, for himself and for Tyler’s mother, in a way that only Josh Dun can. A way that makes Tyler feel like everything’s going to be alright.  


	9. The Light that Never Goes Out.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i figured i could give you kids some kind of closure.

The sun rises on a new day over Sweet Dreams. Josh's eyes flutter open as the light hits them, his body weak from sleep but not completely devoid of comfort. He rolls over, colliding slightly with the body next to him. He groans, unable to properly put into words what he's feeling about last night's escapades. "Move over," he whispers, shaking the person next to him with two fingers. 

Tyler groans just like his boyfriend, rolling over a bit so that he's nearly laying on top of Josh. "You don't want my cuddles?" He giggles, wrapping his arms around the lithe boy with the pink hair. Josh groans again, this time in abject happiness as opposed to the soft contemplation of whether or not he should leg it for the door like he's done so many times before. He allows himself to be wrapped in the comfort that Tyler's arms provide. For someone so small, the solidity of his muscles is astounding. 

"What do you want to do today, babe?" Tyler asks. The heat of the room begins to increase, but it's not totally unpleasant. The cool winds that blow outside can't come in when the two of them together. "We have to go so my parents, of course." 

"Of course," Josh agrees. 

"After that, though. We have the rest of the day to ourselves." It only takes a moment for Josh to look into Tyler's eyes and see the future. There they are, together, content. Tyler kisses the top of Josh's forehead, nuzzling his face in close to rest for another moment longer. "Oh, wait," he remembers, shaking his head. "We have a trip to make today." 

Josh looks up at Tyler, confused. "We have to go to San Antonio, remember?" He asks, looking down. "Gotta see our new place," he giggles. 

It's taken a while, longer than expected, but Josh finally sees the light that Tyler has been telling him about since they met. Since that first day, riding his bike home from a hookup that cost him more money than he earned. 

The light that takes shape every time they're together. The light that makes itself shine so bright every time they kiss. A light named Tyler Joseph. 

They move, gradually, together toward the shower. Getting naked in front of each other isn't a problem anymore, it it's what it had been. There's nothing sexual about showering together anymore, not unless they want there to be. They tease each other, they make fun of each other or give loving nuzzles while the water runs. Every once in a while, Tyler will rub on Josh's cock or he'll let the pink haired boy suck his dick. 

They get dressed together and hold hands on their way out of the apartment, walking down toward the car and off into the street. 

Their families like each other. They give their blessings when they tell the world they're in love. There's nothing standing in their way when it comes to being together. 

At the end of the day, they leave Sweet Dreams, Texas.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work for AO3. I had this idea for a while and just couldn't think of suitable characters, so Josh and Tyler sort of just filled the roles. Enjoy, because that's what it's here for. If you like this and want to subscribe, that'd be super cool, updates every Monday and Friday. You can also find me on Tumblr with the same name, I take writing requests every Wednesday. Have a good day!


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